Teacher: OK kids, it's time for our Annual See-Who-Is-A-Reprehensible-Imbecile Test. Everyone who is ready raise your right arms forward, fascist-salute-style, and phonetically declare: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer."

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward, and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Fine. Now, all who agree that the English words "since" and "if" are not spelled the same, even though both are composed of English alphabet letters, and that "if" is a conditional word, whereas "since" is not so, but instead is a substantiation word, proclaim: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer."

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Good. Now, everyone who acknowledges that the two English words "since" and "if" not simply might not mean the exact same thing, but even do not in any sense mean the precise same thing -- being that the word "since" has the connotation of something someone agrees has definitely already been established and is [already] a fact or [already] exists . . . whereas - in stark contrast - the word "if" has a completely different connotation of something that either has been established and is a fact or exists, OR [instead] something that has NOT been established and might NOT be a fact or exists -- fervently express your accommodating impeccable logic enthusiastically by uttering: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer."

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Great. Let's pursue this. If any asinine-absurd pseudo-theologian or professor of religious rhetoric bellers out or rants that the sentences:

"SINCE you are the Son of God . . ." and "IF you are the Son of God . . ."

either clearly mean or might mean exactly the same thing -- perhaps because the English word "since" and the English word "if" both have the English letter "i" contained in them, even though they contain a different number of English alphabet letters, and ignore that "if" is a conditional word, whereas "since" is not so, but instead is a substantiation word,

phonetically say: "NINE, mine fee-OO-rer."

[ Everyone in the class blurts out: "NINE, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Super. If you agree that no known English Bible translation, whether the KJV, KJ21, MKJV, Douay, JB2000, NASV, or any other recognized and respected rendition of the Word of God has the words:

"SINCE you are the Son of God . . . "

in Matthew 4:3 with reference to Satan tempting Christ Jesus in the wilderness, concur concordantly.

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Right on. To continue, the Greek word for "since" in the following Bible-verse phrase:

Second Corinthians 13:3 . . . since you desire proof that Christ is speaking in me . . .

consists of the Greek letters: epsilon pi epsilon iota

and (in obvious differentiated contrast) the Greek word for "if" in the following Bible verse:

Matthew 4:3 And the tempter came and said to Him, "If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread . . ."

consists of the Greek letters: epsilon iota

All who logically affirm that the Greek letters for "since" (i.e. epei) and the Greek letters for "if" (i.e. ei) are not merely a different number of Greek alphabet letters but also a different combination of Greek alphabet lettering, signify that with fervent acclamation.

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Blessings upon you, mine admirable flock.

And do you all, in astute cognizance and commendable comprehension, agree that even though the two English words "leaven" and "cheese" each contain at least two "e" English alphabet letters, and have exactly the same number of English alphabet letters, the words are totally different as apples and oranges are euphemistically totally different - even though both are lifeforms, both are fruit, both grow on trees, both need sunlight and water to grow, both are eaten with the mouth, both are found on planet Earth, both cannot exist in solid form within the Sun . . . and they certainly (whether figuratively, symbolically, allegorically, and metaphorically) do NOT exactly mean precisely the same thing?

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Exemplary, you all are.

Heretic cultic wrongly insinuate that using the [incorrect] word "since" is justified because the Tempter already knew that Jesus was the Son of God, per:

James 2:19 You believe that there is one God; you do well. The devils also believe -- and tremble.

And, they would continue, Jesus Himself knew that He Himself already was the Son of God, which (they presume) would also justify mis-using the word "since" instead of the word "if."

To conclude, everyone who heretically and ridiculously presumes (NOT "assumes") that the tempter Satan intended to and was sarcastically patronizing Jesus by uttering the non-Greek-Text-based words "SINCE you are the Son of God . . .," vehemently deny that.

[ Everyone in the class shouts out: "NINE, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Fabulous.

Everyone who thinks that the tempter Satan instead was in the business of trying to instill doubt in Jesus that Jesus really was the Son of God by uttering the words: "IF you are the Son of God . . ." vocally reveal your superior intellect.

[ Everyone in the class raises their right arms forward and exclaims: "Yah-VOLL, mine fee-OO-rer." ]

Teacher: Wow. NO one in this class is a reprehensible imbecile! To celebrate, sing with me an altered sample of the WWII Spike Jones song containing the lyrics: