God to Adam

The following is an imaginary conversation between the Creator God (i.e. Jesus Christ)
and His first human, Adam, before and after Adam ate the Forbidden Fruit Eve gave to him

Genesis 2:16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "You may freely eat of every tree of the garden;
17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die."
Genesis 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

ADAM (to GOD): What does 'die' mean?

GOD: You don't want to know, nor find out.

ADAM: That's not very scientific. We should be open-minded, investigative, and exploratory.

GOD: You don't want to know what 'die' means. Trust Me!

GOD (to Adam only): "Where are you?"

ADAM: "You are omniscient, aren't You? Why ask me what you already know? Why didn't you call for Eve, who started the whole problem?"

GOD: Yeah, I'm omnicient and know everything, all right. I just had to put the request into words, because you're not psychic and haven't taken Mind Reading 101. Some goofs in the future emanating from you and your worser half will presume that "the spirit" - without referring to my actual Word the Bible - will magically ooze My thoughts and intentions to them without using Old or even New Testament words, so I am starting it off right and speaking quite-understandable/non-figurative-nor-metaphorical words so there are no excuses and no misunderstandings.

Besides, I called for you because you're the male in charge and therefore who I choose to speak to....instead of conversing with the inferior gender, who already has screwed up and, in her confusing and harassing wrong-headedness, would probably get all this incorrect also.

ADAM:OK, for the record, I'm here.

Now, I heard the sound of You in the Garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

GOD: Didn't think I was noisy to get your attention; maybe I should have snuck up on you.
So, a little game of hide-and-seek, cat-and-mouse? I am not interested.

How come you were afraid because you were naked? I created you nude, so what do you expect? I really do not have a problem with you naked, and we won't even mention what I think of all-bared Eve your wife, another of My masterpieces. Could it be that you were afraid because you were disobedient to My don-t-eat-of-That-Tree command....rather than scared because you were naked, had become aware that you were naked, or for some strange cause had associated nakedness with shame? Is being naked and knowing that you were naked such a frightening thing? I had thought that you'd get a kick out of knowing what nakedness was, becoming aware of it, and appreciating being naked.

Speaking of nakedness, those little what-I-call "aprons" which you both "sewed" with what I guess I call sewing "needles" simply don't cut it. That skimpy fashion and style just won't do as society grows, being that it would cause immodesty and immorality problems.

Well, in order to fulfil that verse that Moses will eventually write down according to My audible Numbers 7:89 dictation to him from above the Mercy Seat of The Ark of the Covenant which will be written, namely:

Genesis 3:21 And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins, and clothed them.

here are some skins I got from you-don't-have-a-clue-where-and-how-I-got-them, and I will personally dress up both of you in them. You'll like them. I guarantee it.

ADAM: There goes my air-conditioning and tanning. How am I supposed to "Multiply and fill the Earth" with this stuff on? How am I supposed to get erotically aroused and get penile erection with Eve all modestly dressed up like that -- with chignon and long sleeves, full-length skirt, and her feet covered with sox under her sandals?

Good thing she was and is my wife and thus married to me when were nude. But was that lascivious and illegal indecent exposure by both of us back then? Would it be obscene if we both got nude again, especially to bathe and do what it takes to "Multiply and fill the Earth?"

GOD: When I oust you and your wife out of The Garden, those clothes will come in handy to protect you and yours against hostile conditions, especially after global-climate-altering Noah's Worldwide Flood, which Noah and family are to be saved by being in an Ark while everyone else drowns.

ADAM: You know, God, there are a lot of things You've said I do not understand. Who is 'Moses' and the strange other stuff you mentioned about some Ark, Covenant, and worldwide drownings?

GOD: Don't worry about it. The Text of The HOLY BIBLE has already begun with this dialogue I am having with you, so remember it and pass it on to your children as oral trandition until I finger it into the Ten Commandments of stone on Mount Sinai and Moses inerrantly pens it and a lot more down on papyrus, during which penning I will personally correct, corroborate, add, and subtract any errors starting with the beginning of recorded history which I convey to him then.

ADAM: So getting back to sexual reproduction, how are we supposed to procreate dressed up like this?

GOD: Your comment a while back that you were afraid because you were naked intrigues Me. And as you remember, I followed up with the comment that:

Genesis 3:11 "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?"

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Eve and you (not you and Eve) being disobedient eaters somehow - if even faintly - relates to you becoming aware that you were naked (not to mention Eve). And not only the idea of 'die' came from Me, but also an after-the-fact idea of 'shame' came from Me, which future author Moses who was born into nakedness-is-shameful society wrote down at My behest. Perhaps the idea of 'shame' relating with 'nakedness' should have been stated somewhere after the description of your acts of disobedience in Genesis. Nevertheless, I, through Moses, had the Holy Spirit write it into Scripture in the order it is presently in, so live with it.

As you can therefore guess, being naked -- in the first place, before you both disobeyed -- was not shameful nor indecent. Wait till the Holy Spirit has Solomon write his Song of Solomon into the expanding Bible.....along with such Divinely-inspired additions as Leviticus chapter 18 and 20, Isaiah chapter 47 and 57, Ezekiel chapters 16 and 23, plus Hosea chapter 2 will suggest birthday-suit-bare stripping to not only get you and Eve to get into the mood but enhance your know-how of My Human Sexuality Operating Manual. Isaiah (in Isaiah chapter 20) will go nude, as will the prophets:

First Samuel 19:24 And he too stripped off his clothes, and he too prophesied before Samuel, and lay naked all that day and all that night. Hence it is said, "Is Saul also among the prophets?" but for a different purpose than the demoniac:

Luke 8:27 And as he stepped out on land, there met him a man from the city who had demons; for a long time he had worn no clothes, and he lived not in a house but among the tombs.

ADAM: How about me searching for and enjoying all-I-can-see sights of as many completely-bare-naked other women besides Eve who will be around later on?

GOD: Fine, but such have to first be regarded by both you and each of them as permanent spouses who you all belong only to each other only in marriage, with or without wedding ceremonies. And if you get a harem of multiple wives or concubines, you have to provide for each one, and that probably is going to be a rather financially-depleting hassle -- as 600-wives/400-concubines Solomon and Esther's bevy-of-concubines Ahasuerus will find out in the future. It could get to be: "For Faster Service, Take a Number," and all those women belonging only to those two men will not have much of a concentrated sex life, particularly as the aging guys get older, tired and take longer to recuperate, more limpid, and more flaccid. Hopefully, they won't masturbate themselves in abusive self-sodomy so as to not increase their chances of getting and succombing to prostate cancer.

ADAM: What is a 'wedding ceremony?'

GOD:: Something not necessary, and usually expensive.

ADAM: So what's the bottom line with savoring the art of mass female-human nakedness? Is it porn? With my own wives or concubines? The wives and concubines of others?

GOD: My Prime Directive is to be dressed in complete modesty whenever in general public view -- year-round -- regarding legitimate hairstyles, armwear, legwear and footwear.....and when people are not dressed modesty in general public view it is and should continue to be deemed shameful, embarrassing, humiliating, and sexually obscene.

When in private with the wife, wives, or concubines of one's own, the future atoning sacrifice of Christ Jesus on a cross applies to all spouses of all time and location by (among other things) restores shame-free Paradise Lost as when back in Eden, sanctifying intial total marital nakedness of spouses in private out of general public view -- whether they believe and/or admit it or not.