There it is again: an apparent misspelling in the title of this piece.
And to think that I have had a college education!
Not really. "Not really" what?
It was done deliberately. [What was done deliberately?]
IE6 and related Microsoft software - (blessed be their name) - limits me to a mere eight alphanumeric characters.
I just heard a Harvest.org sermonette on the wives-don't-try-to-be-fancy-but-instead-submit-to-your-own-husbands partial passage of First Peter chapter three.
Pastor Greg noticeably (and deplorably) stopped short of verse 7, giving the rationale and incentive for female submission, in which St Peter rightly and wisely informed us that wives are not "equal in every way" compared with their husbands, but rather definitively are the "weaker vessel" - which in modern parlance and obvious equivalence means that they are the inferior gender - a premise which is roundly supported by St Paul by several of his contextual passages throughout the New Testament of The Holy Bible:
First Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
11:6 For if a woman will not veil herself, then she should cut off her hair; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her wear a veil [or burka or hijab].
11:7 For a man ought not to cover his head, being that he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.
First Corinthians 14:34 Have your women be silent in the churches; for it is not permitted to them to speak, but to be in subjection, as the Law also says.
14:35 And if they desire to learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home; for it is shameful for a woman to speak in a church.
14:36 Or did the Word of God go out from you? Or did it reach only to you?
14:37 If anyone presumes themself a prophet, or a spiritual one, let them recognize the things I write to you, that they are a command of the Lord.
First Timothy 2:11 Let a woman learn in silence with all subjection.
2:12 I [as yours truly also] allow no woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent.
2:13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve;
2:14 and Adam [a representative of all humanity (from Creation Week onward) - not merely restricted to the confines of within "a" nor "the" "church"] was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.
2:15 Yet woman will be saved through bearing children, if she continues in faith and love and holiness, with sensibility.
First Timothy 3:2 Now a bishop [must not be female] must be above reproach, the husband of one wife [and please keep the genders straight, all you pervert transvestites, transsexuals, and homoqueer faggots!], temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher...
First Timothy 3:12 Let deacons be the husband of one wife, and let them manage their children and their households well...
. . . which has multiple reaffirmation from various other male Scriptural authors such as:
Leviticus 27:1 The LORD said to Moses:
27:2 'Say to the people of Israel: "When a man makes a special vow of persons to the LORD at your valuation,
27:3 then your valuation of a male from twenty years old up to sixty years old shall be fifty shekels of silver, according to the shekel of the sanctuary.
27:4 If the person is a female, your valuation shall be thirty shekels. [ a lesser amount!]
27:5 If the person is from five years old up to twenty years old, your valuation shall be for a male twenty shekels, and for a female ten shekels. [ a lesser amount!]
27:6 If the person is from a month old up to five years old, your valuation shall be for a male five shekels of silver, and for a female your valuation shall be three shekels of silver. [ a lesser amount!]
27:7 And if the person is sixty years old and upward, then your valuation for a male shall be fifteen shekels, and for a female ten shekels.'" [ a lesser amount!]
Numbers 5:31 "The man shall be free from iniquity, but the woman shall bear her iniquity."
Proverbs 14:1 Wisdom builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Ecclesiastes 7:25 I turned my mind to know and to search out and to seek wisdom and the sum of things, and to know the wickedness of folly and the foolishness which is madness.
7:26 And I found more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and whose hands are fetters; he who pleases God escapes her, but the sinner is taken by her.
7:27 "Hey, this is what I found," says the Preacher, "adding one thing to another to find the sum,
7:28 which my mind has sought repeatedly, but I have not found. One man among a thousand I found, but a woman among all these I have not found.
7:29 Hey, this alone I found, that God made man upright, but they have sought out many devices."
Isaiah 3:12 My people: [bratty, shrieking, scurrying-around, obstructive-in-pathways] children are their oppressors, and [feminist-sexist] [chauvinist] women rule over them. Oh my people, your leaders mislead you, and confuse the course of your paths.
Micah 7:5 Put no trust in a neighbor, have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom.
Nahum 3:13 Hey, your [combat] troops are women in your midst [not a compliment, nor suggestion to do]. The gates of your land are wide open to your foes; [9112001?] fire has devoured your fortresses.
Even Christ considered naggy women as objects to initially be disregarded, unless they non-arrogantly exhibit humble desperation:
Matthew 15:21 And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon.
15:22 And hey, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and shouted out: "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David [she certainly was not antisemitic, but perhaps had accessed Ancestry.com?]; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon."
15:23 But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and begged Him, saying: "Send her away, for she is crying after us."
15:24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep [Baaaaa!] of the house of Israel."
15:25 But she came and knelt in front of Him, saying: "Lord, help me."
15:26 And He answered, "It is not fair to take the children's bread and throw it to the [noisy and disruptive, nervous and barky] dogs." [Woof!]
15:27 She said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."
15:28 Then Jesus answered her: "Oh woman [puppy?], great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly.
Thus, the "her" and female innuendos in the following verses:
Proverbs 7:4 Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call insight your intimate friend;
Proverbs 8:1 Does not wisdom call, does not understanding raise her voice?
Proverbs 8:11 for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.
Proverbs 9:1 Wisdom has built her house, she has set up her seven pillars.
....are understandably qualified by the fact that no female built the Universe [but rather the beyond-created-genders Almighty God did], being that:
Proverbs 3:19 The LORD by wisdom founded Earth; by understanding He [not "she"] established the heavens.
Isaiah 45:18 For thus says the LORD, who created the heavens (He is God!), who formed Earth and made it (He established it; He did not create it a [evolutionutty-random-assemblages-and-disassemblages-by-mere-chance] chaos, He formed it to be inhabited!): "I am the LORD, and there is no other. [He - not "she." Male pronoun, grammatically.]
Hebrews 1:1 In many and various ways God spoke of old to our fathers [male gender - not "mothers"] by the prophets;
1:2 but in these last days He has spoken to us by His [nor "her"] Son [not "daughter"], whom He appointed the heir of all things, through whom also He created the world.
1:3 He reflects the glory of God and bears the very essence of His nature, upholding the universe by His word of power. When He had made purification for sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,
1:4 having become as much superior to angels as the name He has obtained is more excellent than theirs.
1:5 For to what angel did God ever say, "You are my Son [male gender], today I have begotten you"? Or again, "I will be to him a father [male gender - not female "mother"], and He shall be to me a son"?
1:6 And again, when Hee brings the first-born into the world, He says, "Let all God's angels worship His."
1:7 Of the angels He says, "Who makes His angels winds, and His [not "her"] servants flames of fire."
1:8 But of the Son [not "daughter"] He says, "your throne, God, is forever, the righteous scepter is the scepter of your kingdom [not "queendom"].
1:10 And [God says]: "You, Lord (review KJV's First John 5:7), established Earth in the beginning, and the heavens are the work of your hands....
Revelation 12:5 ...she brought forth a Male Child, one who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron, but her Child was caught [raptured!] up to God and to His [not "her"] throne...
Revelation 12:13 And when The Dragon saw that he had been thrown down to Earth, he pursued the woman who had borne the Male Child.
So, let's forget trying to puff female humans up in proud artificial self-esteem with the make-believe "equality" illusion.
As the Infinite and Impeccably-Perfect Omniscient and Omnipotent Creator is far superior to, and indescribably way more important than, His finite created....so the LORD is phenomenally superior to and indescribably more important that His puny, pathetically fallible, and frequently-faithless "bride" (i.e. those saints of His "church").
Though a part of The Holy Trinity, Son-of-God Jesus voluntarily subjected Himself temporarily to human confines and limitations -- but it is us, His servants who He loves, who are a part of Him, who must be subject to Him, our Master (and not the other way around!) -- without us presuming that He must be subject to us in all things.
The God (who St James spoke of in his New-Testament epistle) from whom comes every good and perfect gift, enables us (like aggressive loving husbands) to actively seek Him while He may be found and draw near to Him with expectancy (a motive emphasized by the Baptists) and (like loving and eagerly-anticipating wives) passively and totally submit to Him (a motive emphasized by the Lutherans) both when He comes, then really cums.
To use a household example, stick the prongs of the movable electrical plug into the immovable electrical wall socket so that the juice flows. And insert the manipulatory gas pump nozzle into the stationary car's gas tank for the fluid to flow and the car to go.
I get titillated every time I see a woman do the two things mentioned above.
Reminds me of:
Deuteronomy 25:11 When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts,
Deuteronomy 25:12 then you shall cut off her hand; your eye shall have no pity.
It is any wonder that the Bible should be the Textbook used in public schools for healthy, informed, and enlightening sex education? Preparing pupils to trek into space where no man has gone before (as Pointy Ears, now dead at 83, might have put it).
Oh, the non-obese heterosexual nudity described therein! Eat light, eat right.
Pix and vids not included. Vigorously exercise your own imagination and more, with newly-discovered 3-D assists when married.
So, when the Boss comes, it behooves us to neither raise a third finger nor do as described below:
Ezekiel 8:17 Then He said to me, "Have you seen this, son of man? Is it too slight a thing for the house of Judah to commit the abominations which they commit here, that they should fill the land with violence, and provoke me further to anger? Wow, they put the branch to their nose.
So now, we get to The Interview [Ha! Spelled it correctly this time, to show you that I can!]
WOLF: "Are you pro-choice?"
ME: "As opposed to what?"
WOLF: "In contrast to being anti-choice?"
ME: "Choice about what?"
WOLF: "You've read the news, know the issues, and follow the latest controversies. You know what the choice is about. We do not have to mention or discuss that."
ME: "Choice about what?"
WOLF: "Do you support a woman's right to choose?"
ME: "Choose what?"
WOLF: "Do you support women's health?"
ME: "Health to do what?"
WOLF: "Do you support a woman's reproductive freedom?"
ME: "Freedom to reproduce?"
[Oh Oh. The school bell rings. The buzzer sounds. Time for a commercial. You've graciously been warned before it happens, so that you can prepare. It will portray http://slenderizers.tripod.com/femmhair and not be piggy-backed with more than 5 commercials in a row, and will last exactly and only 4.73958 minutes. Here's your big chance to go to the bathroom.]
WOLF: "Do you support abortion rights?"
ME: "I do not answer foolish questions such as that, because you have just uttered an oxymoron. There is no right to commit abortion homicide nor any sinful or criminal action. Was that what you meant by "choice," by "reproductive freedom," and "women's health?"
WOLF: "I'll go on to the next question. Do you believe in evolution?"
ME: "Does it matter whether I believe or do not believe whatever, and what do you mean by "believe in evolution?" That such a theory exists? That there are those who vocally presume such theory is valid, and propagandize such?"
WOLF: "Is evolution true, or false?"
ME: Now, you've asked the question a way it should be asked, in wording which is appropriate. The answer is an emphatic: 'False.' The anti-Biblical-creationist theory of evolution is certainly invalid."
WOLF: "No need to bring in religion here, nor refer to the Bible."
ME: "I will refer to anything I want, and think appropriate, or this interview will promptly end, and we will go our separate ways."
WOLF: "You might be held in contempt of court. Do you support gay rights?"
ME: "You might be held in contempt of court. What do you mean by gay?"
WOLF: Oh c'mon now. Everybody knows what that means nowadays. Do you support gay rights? Quit stalling. Answer the question!"
ME: "Hey, if I knew what you meant by "gay" I would not have asked you the question of what you meant by "gay" being that I would have already known the answer. I'll ask you again: What do you mean by gay?"
WOLF: "Do you support homosexual rights?"
ME: "There you go again, wording the question as an oxymoron. Two things diametrically opposed to each other. Why do you do that? Are you trying to legitimize something that you yourself imply is not legitimate? Why not rephrase the question into a proper question, instead of a loaded one? I remember my mother-in-law frequently saying to me: "Why would I do that?" Recognizing her loaded compound question as would be presented by some tricky lawyer to avoid recriminating backlash whatever my answer might be, I responded: "First we'll have to find out if you would or would not do such. Then we'll get to discussing the 'why' of it."
[Oh Oh. The school bell rings. The buzzer sounds. Time for another commercial. You've graciously been warned before it happens, so that you can prepare. It will portray http://smotevart.tripod.com and not be piggy-backed with more than 6 commercials in a row, and will last exactly and only 5.19374 minutes. Here's your big chance to go to the kitchen, and get a snack and a drink.]
WOLF: "Is homosexuality acceptable or non-acceptable?"
ME: "What do you mean by "acceptable?" That a person can accept or reject it? What do you mean by "acceptable?"
WOLF: "OK OK. Enough already! Is homosexuality right or wrong, righteous or wicked, good or evil?"
ME: "Ah! Finally! Bingo! Now you've asked a question a way it should be asked -- enabling me to give a brief, concise, short, to the point, time-saving, yes-or-no answer."
WOLF: "What is it?"
ME: "What is what?"
WOLF: "Is homosexuality right or wrong, righteous or wicked, good or evil?"
ME: "Homosexuality is always wrong, evil, wicked, and more along those lines. Get it? Got it? Good."
WOLF: "Is it wrong for a girl or woman to wear a shortened skirt?"
ME: "Can't answer that, Wolf, because your question is woefully and deplorably non-qualified - which, by now, I have come to expect from you. A shortened skirt under which she is wearing slacks or non-tight leotards? A shortened skirt baring legs only in view of her own husband in their own house or bedroom or bathroom? Your question needs some serious qualification and context. You sure know how to waste interview time asking questions with incomplete, misleading, errant, or deceptive weasel-wording, and we do not have that much time to fool around jawing with each other."
WOLF: "Is it wrong, evil, bad, wicked, for a girl or woman to ignorantly or especially deliberately expose her bare-naked legs, for whatever cause and not necessarily "reason," to boys and/or men she is not currently married to?"
ME: "Oh Wolfie! My, the improvement in your question! Semantics Paradise! I am overwhelmed. Taken back. Thrilled. It almost sent a tingle up my leg, as Chris Matthews would say. Most pleased. Gratified. Thankful. Appreciative. Satisfied. What was the question?"
WOLF: "Is it wrong, evil, bad, wicked, for a girl or woman to ignorantly or especially deliberately expose her bare-naked legs, for whatever cause and not necessarily "reason," to boys and men she is not currently married to?"
ME: "Yes."
[Oh Oh. The school bell rings. The buzzer sounds. Time for a commercial. You've graciously been warned before it happens, so that you can prepare. It will portray http://computerarium.tripod.com/sluthair.htm and not be piggy-backed with more than 5 commercials in a row, and will last exactly and only 4.95723 minutes. Here's your big chance to go the mailbox to pick up the mail, or take out the garbage.]
WOLF: "Have you ever watched porn, or fornicated with a masseuse or escort?"
ME: "Completely, or partially, fornicated? Or momentarily wanted to?"
WOLF: "Whatever."
ME: "Not 'whatever.' The distinction is crucial."
WOLF: "Have you ever watched porn, or had a one-night stand or an affair with a masseuse or escort?"
ME: "Have you?"
WOLF: "I'm asking you."
ME: "As I, you."
WOLF: "Are you going to answer the question? Are you?"
ME: "This interview is over! Sahaladan, bring me Larry King!"
[Oh Oh. The school bell rings. The buzzer sounds. Time for a commercial. You've graciously been warned before it happens, so that you can prepare. It will portray http://computerarium.tripod.com/mphdized.htm and not be piggy-backed with more than 7 commercials in a row, and will last exactly and only 6.79724 minutes. Here's your big chance to go downstairs to pull the clothes out of the dryer and into the clean basket and haul it upstairs.]