In recent American history, there have been a lot of sneaky and deceptive cons which have occurred. Cover-ups, for all sorts of causes.

For example, one big one is former President Richard Nixon involved with "Watergate" - in which Dick used intelligence "thieves" to break into National Democratic Headquarters for the supposed purpose of merely gathering strategy plans, funding sources, and other politically-related info to allegedly use for the purported purpose of disrupting and dismantling what he probably perceived was the increasing chance that JFK was going to get elected, the same cultic-catholic JFK who possibly was instrumental in getting the High Court to disallow prayer and Bible reading in public schools (amongst other questionable things) who later was strangely retaliated against by the Lord allowing LHO to gun JFK down from a Dallas book depository in 1963.

Barry "Barack Hussein Obama" Soetoro had his own ACORN-gate partly responsible for getting him elected President in 2008 (although smug McCain plus shortened-skirted feminist-mophead Sarah Palin, along with the sexist GOP candidate-selection committee appointing them, exacerbated that situation).

But, credibly recorded in somewhat-ancient history, and carefully, embarrassingly, vengefully, and incessantly reiterated for decades, centuries, and by now nearly a couple of millennia afterwards....was a FAR-worse "Jewsgate" which - down through the years - has had horrific consequences, especially pertaining to the anti-jewish holocaust caused by the Romans in 70 A.D. and the anti-jewish holocaust caused by Hitler's Nazis in the 1940s. Some actual text pertaining to that "...and He was crucified under Pontius Pilate..." Jewsgate is stated below:

Matthew 27:50 And Jesus cried again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.
51 And hey, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom; and the earth shook, and the rocks were split;
52 the tombs also were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep [sorry about the apparently-ridiculous euphemism; the actual words for the reality involved should instead be: physically died] were "raised" [there it goes again, whatever raised mean or doesn't mean],
53 and coming out of the tombs after His resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many.
54 When the centurion and those who were with Him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe, and said, "Truly this was The Son of God!"
57 When it was evening, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who also was a disciple of Jesus.
58 He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then Pilate ordered it to be given to him.
59 And Joseph took the body, and wrapped it in a clean linen shroud,
60 and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn in the rock; and he rolled a great stone to the door of the tomb, and departed.
62 Next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate
63 and said, "Sir, we remember how that impostor [Houdini?] said, while He was still alive, 'After three days I will rise again.'
64 Therefore order the sepulchre to be made secure until the third day, lest His disciples go and steal Him away, and tell the people, 'He has risen from the dead,' and the last fraud will be worse than the first."
65 Pilate said to them, "You have a guard of soldiers; go, make it as secure as you can."
66 So they went and made the sepulchre secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard.

Matthew 28:1 Now after the sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the sepulchre [for what purpose: to see a big stone blocking the entrance of a sepulchre?].
2 And hey, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone, and sat upon it.
3 His appearance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow.

[Here it would behoove you the reader, and me this webpage author, to realize that it is quite apparent that the gospel-author news reporter - who we can safely assume was the disciple Matthew - was not present to view the lightning-like angel [singular, in contrast to dual angels inside the empty tomb mentioned in other gospel accounts] at the tomb, although it is possible that Matthew himself - wherever he probably was hiding out for fear of the pharisaic jews - felt the earthquake - whatever it's rating was on the Richter Scale - and perhaps also felt some lesser aftershocks. Therefore, author Matthew either got the info he wrote in the above verses from other witnesses, or was directly inspired by the Holy Spirit, or both. It can safely be assumed that his memory and recollection, upon penning the verses above, certainly was aided by the Spirit of God - whatever the sources of the information he utilized].

Matthew 28:4 And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men [or in other words, they became catatonic].
5 But [Lightning Guy] said to the women, "Do not be afraid; for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified.
6 He is not here; for He has risen, as He said. Come, see the place where He lay [Please enter obediently, and you might see my other two angel friends].
7 Then go quickly and tell His disciples that He has risen [which is proper English, instead of saying that 'He is risen'] from the dead, and hey, He is going before you to Galilee; there you will see Him. Wow, I have told you."
8 So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell His disciples.
9 And hey, Jesus met them and said, "Hi!" And they came up and took hold of His feet and worshiped Him.
10 Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid; go and tell My brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see Me." [but sure as hell those damned disbelieving pharisees who murdered Me won't see Me]
11 While they were going, hey, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests all that had taken place. [Clearly, they then were no longer catatonic].
12 And when they [WHO is they? - it would help to define non-defined pronouns!] had assembled with the elders and taken counsel, they gave a sum of money to the soldiers
13 and said, "Tell people, 'His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.'
14 And if this comes to the governor's ears, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble."
15 So they took the money and did as they were directed; and this story has been spread among the Jews to this day.

When I attended Resurrection-Day service on "Easter" day, Pastor Baker (a messianic clergyman in one of the churches I attend) did not preach about the mythical "Easter Bunny" nor the fact that inclusion of the word "Easter" within the otherwise-respected-New-Testament King James Version is not based on any Greek text. But he (concordant with his genetically-Jewish heritage and ancestry) did innovatively point out the disparity of what the Roman-tomb guards knew, what they told pharisaic jewish employers who contracted them to guard, what the lying and bribes-imposing jewish employers told the guards to mis-inform everyone about the incident, what other Romans and whoever thought and fanatically doubted about the lies told them by the bribed soldiers at the behest of the pharisaic jews, and the dire and extensive consequences of those lies.

Reverend Baker pointed out the hideous, humiliating, job-loss-causing, and even life-threatening discrepancies concerning the Roman guards which likely transpired. Can you imagine the finest Secret-Service-like muscular-wrestler-type Roman guards, armed with the latest-greatest in defensive weaponry, specially selected for their no-nonsense, feared-reputation, brawny-bullyboy, pick-a-fight-with-anyone belligerance...lying down on the job and falling asleep (something they could have easily been executed for according to Roman Military Security-Force Guidelines)?

Acts 12:18 Now when day came, there was no small stir among the soldiers over what had become of Peter.
Acts 12:19 And when Herod had sought for him and could not find him, he examined the sentries and ordered that they should be put to death. Then he went down from Judea to Caesarea, and remained there.

Moreover (and here is the bizarre premise which Pastor Joel aptly pointed out): HOW could those guards - supposedly asleep - know (while they were ASLEEP) that some timidly-hiding-out-in-apprehensive-recluse disciples came with enough noisy gasoline-powered cement saws or pick axes or battering rams, distant-future CO2-laser-beam cutters, explosive dynamite or TNT or nitroglycerin, to unseal a securely-sealed sepulchre (according to strict Roman Military Confinement-Enclosure Sealing Standards)...and ALL this - again - fully aware of all that was happening -- while they were "asleep?"

Whenever there is someone who, as an overbearing tyrant, forces someone to mis-state or mis-do what that someone knows is not right, not correct, not justifable, simply wrong...there is a non-forgiving bitter resentment which finally results in various types and severities of retribution.

For example, if one knows the identity of a tyrant stealing $1 from a victim, the victim will do his or her best to donate up to $10 or more to the tyrant's enemy or enemies for understandable retaliation. If the tyrant steals all the money from a victim, the victim understandably just might give their life in service to the tyrant's enemy or enemies.

It is not necessarily presumptive to imagine that Pontius Pilate, who (as a reputationally-fair-minded Roman ruler who was no dummy when it came to determining guilt or innocence [of alleged criminals such as Jesus] by experienced one-on-one interrogation and FBI-like investigation, and who was rather keenly aware of a plethoria of news reports and police records or the obvious absence of them within his jurisdiction) never forgot his injust crucifixion-allowing ruling -- clearly made under intense jewish-pharisee-instigated duress which jealous and disbelieving kikes imposed against Pilate, adding insult to injury by threatening interference with Pilate's Roman-Government allegiance to Pilate's cherished king Caesar.

Such most likely festered like non-quenchable searing gangrene within Pilate, who probably quite intimately knew the Roman centurion calling Jesus "the Son of God" and the choice-picked guards appointed to guard the sepulchre of the for-the-record clearly-benign-and-harmless, teacher-and-healer, taxpaying 'King of the Jews' [a despicable criminal charge quite worthy of capital punishment].

Consequently, it is not incredible to assume that, from that point on, Pilate allied with other Roman commanders to plot lethal retaliation against those jewish religious leaders and their jewish-pharisees-incited rioting mob who had so needlessly endangered his career, his reputation, his honor, his sense of justice, and even the national security of the Roman Empire at large. The thankful fulfilment of Herod's and Pilate's vendetta of revenge occurred in 70 A.D. when the Roman Army (perhaps including those tomb guards who had been forced to lie and endanger their careers and even lives because of kike-instigated bribery) sacked Jeruslem, burned the city to the ground, and executed (NOT "murdered") the filthy-vile-scum jew-pharisees who had senselessly caused the whole problem in the first place.

Growing antagonism against trouble-causing jews in the case of them euphemistically "adding fuel to the fire" by also viciously objecting to a master Jew (Saint Paul) is evident by the following Scripture verses:

Acts 18:2 And [Paul] found a Jew named Aquila, a native of Pontus, lately come from Italy with his wife Priscilla, because Claudius had commanded all the Jews to leave Rome. And he went to see them;
3 and because he was of the same trade he stayed with them, and they worked, for by trade they were tentmakers.
4 And he argued in the synagogue every sabbath, and persuaded Jews and Greeks.
5 When Silas and Timothy arrived from Macedonia, Paul was occupied with preaching, testifying to the Jews that the Christ was Jesus.
6 And when they opposed and reviled him, he shook out his garments and said to them, "Your blood be upon your heads! I am innocent. From now on I will go to the Gentiles."
7 And he left there and went to the house of a man named Titius Justus, a worshiper of God; his house was next door to the synagogue.
8 Crispus, the ruler of the synagogue, believed in the Lord, together with all his household; and many of the Corinthians hearing Paul believed and were baptized.
9 And the Lord said to Paul one night in a vision, "Do not be afraid, but speak and do not be silent;
10 for I am with you, and no man shall attack you to harm you; for I have many people in this city."
11 And he stayed a year and six months, teaching the word of God among them.
12 But when Gallio was proconsul of Achaia, the Jews made a united attack upon Paul and brought him before the tribunal,
13 saying, "This man is persuading men to worship God contrary to the law."
14 But when Paul was about to open his mouth, Gallio said to the Jews, "If it were a matter of wrongdoing or vicious crime, I should have reason to bear with you, O Jews;
15 but since it is a matter of questions about words and names and your own law, see to it yourselves; I refuse to be a judge of these things."
16 And he drove them from the tribunal.

Since 1948, jews have been dispersed and rightfully harassed for similar types of anti-Christian, anti-Christianity, anti-Jesus-as-Messiah, anti-Saint-Paul activism and persecution they themselves have committed and been to blame for. Instead of humbly taking shelter with the Russian Orthodox Church, proud anti-Christianity-in-public ACLU-type jews were herded into frigid gulags in Russia for slave labor and death by frostbite. Instead of humbly submitted to the Catholic and Protestant churches and their Christ-as-Redeemer-and-Lord doctrines, anti-Christianity-in-public ACLU-type German jews proudly enraged antisemitic nazis who (similar to the Russians) confined them into ghettos and eventually into concentration-camp ovens for suffocation by lethal gas and cremation.

Some Jews, in humility, did seek and find protection during the 1940s from Christians who took pro-Jewish and pro-Israel-preservation Bible verses seriously...and although such Jews (like Albert Einstein) were not prestine pure like the Jewish apostles who wrote the New Testament, nor were snow-white theological experts, they were saved from a horrendous holocaust...and deserved to be so saved.

Such is even the case nowadays, with the threat of Iranian and other Middle-Eastern insurrectionist-rebel "freedom-from-monarchy" antisemites hemming Israel in from all sides, with only genuine Christians in Europe, the United States, and elsewhere supporting Israeli-Jews survival, continued existence, and territorial settlements within their own Biblically-apportioned land and not to so-called [arab-malcontent] "palestinians" with genocidal determination.

Deuteronomy 9:5 Not because of your righteousness or the uprightness of your heart are you going in to possess their land; but because of the wickedness of these nations the LORD your God is driving them out from before you, and that he may confirm the word which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.

Deuteronomy 9:26 And I prayed to the LORD, 'Oh Lord GOD, destroy not Your people and Your heritage, whom You have redeemed through Your greatness, whom You have brought out of Egypt with a mighty hand.
27 Remember Your servants, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob [nothing is said about Ishmael, about Esau, nor about Mohammed]; do not regard the stubbornness of this people, or their wickedness, or their sin,
28 lest the land from which You did bring us say, "Because the LORD was not able to bring them into the land which He promised them, and because He hated them, He has brought them out to slay them in the wilderness."
29 For they are Your people and Your heritage, whom You did bring out by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm.'

First Samuel 12:22 For the LORD will not throw away His people, for His great name's sake [but will they or will they not cooperate with their independent-choice free wills?], because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for Himself.

Ezekiel 20:44 "And you shall know that I am the LORD, when I deal with you for My name's sake, not according to your evil ways, nor according to your corrupt doings [but is that FAIR?], house of Israel," says the Lord GOD.

Ezekiel 39:7 "And My holy name I will make known in the midst of my people Israel; and I will not let My holy name be profaned any more; and the nations shall know that I am the LORD, the Holy One in Israel."

Ezekiel 39:23 And the nations shall know that the house of Israel went into captivity for their iniquity, because they dealt so treacherously with Me that I hid My face from them and gave them into the hand of their adversaries, and they all fell by the sword.
24 I dealt with them according to their uncleanness and their transgressions, and hid My face from them.
25 Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: "Now I will restore the fortunes of Jacob [nothing is said about Ishmael, about Esau, nor about Mohammed], and have mercy upon the whole house of Israel [NO mention of so-called "palestinians"]; and I will be jealous for My holy name.
26 They shall forget their shame, and all the treachery they have practiced against Me, when they reside securely in their land with none to make them afraid [including fear about Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Hamas, Hezbollah, Fatah, Obamination, and A-mini-jihad of Iran],
27 when I have brought them back from the peoples and gathered them from their enemies' lands, and through them have vindicated My holiness in the sight of many nations [including the Security Council of the United Nations, and NATO].
28 Then they shall know that I am the LORD their God because I sent them into exile among the nations and then gathered them into their own land [starting in A.D. 1948]. I will leave none of them remaining among the nations any more [including Netanyahu];
29 and I will not hide My face any more from them, when I pour out My Spirit upon the house of Israel," says the Lord GOD.

Titus 3:5 ....He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness [and, quite frequently and appallingly: wickedness], but in virtue of His own mercy, by the washing [with or without soapy suds] of regeneration and renewal in the Holy Spirit....

Remember, it is NOT:

Revelation 22:14 (RSV, NIV, TEV, NLT, CSB, etc.) Blessed are those who wash their robes....

but instead:

Revelation 22:14 (JPS, KJ21, MKJV, KJV, etc.) Blessed are they who do His commandments.....

IS there authentic justice in God forgiving a "chosen" people who (admittedly under satantic duress but by their increasing and relentless sinning) in effect puked on His holy robe, urinated and defected on Him, and shoved their proverbial third finger up His bung-hole after thumbing their noses in His face?

Yes, and the reason for that is the Creator Himself mysteriously incepted and/or allowed The Three Great Stumbling Blocks against our primal ancestors Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden: (1) the Tempter, (2) The Forbidden Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil, and (3) The Freewill Choice Capacity given to humankind. God, in his also-mysterious "prophetic foreknowledge" [supposedly] guessed? that both Eve and Adam would [sooner or later] errantly succomb to those Stumbling Blocks He had maliciously-or-benignly? placed against (NOT "for") them in The Garden.

But His foreknowledged Plan also then included having His Son (Jesus) obediently confine Himself onto an infinitesmal speck called Earth somewhere in the nearly-incredibly-vast Universe, embarrassingly become embedded as a helplessly-nude fetal speck inside the womb of some frail and fallible inferior-gender human female, then (shamefully or immodestly) be born naked to suck virgin titties, and finally (most humiliating of all) be injustly lynched and painfully murdered on some high-and-hard torture stick atop some garbage-pit Judean hill while being blasphemously reviled on all sides....

....then the Almighty telling everyone to consider that the Ultimate-Expiation-and-Absolvement-Against-All-Their-Sins and Future-Ticket-Into-Heaven gospel.

Temporal salvation of sorts for Hebrew Jews occurred centuries before Jesus Christ came on the scene.

Around the time of Resurrection Day 2011, one TV network aired a rerun of the Charlton Heston movie The Ten Commandments, and that - in combination with a portion of Scripture read by one priest in another church I attended about that time - got me to thinking of the vital necessity it was for God to rescue overburdened and complaining Hebrew Jews away from the tyranny of an antisemitic Pharoah in Egypt.

First of all, King Hardass was making it impossible for Hebrew-Jewish slaves of Israel to continue doing their laborious work by ordering them to find straw themselves for the same number of bricks made - and if Pharaoah would have kept on getting worse and worse, more and more harsh, there likely would have come a point where continued human survival of such slaves would have been out of the question.

Not only that, but godless Pharoah might have eventually forced Jewish-Hebrew slaves to worship Egyptian gods or even himself as a Nebuchadnezzar-like god....much like Americans would have been forced to salute the wacko-lunatic Adolf Hitler and wear swastika armbands within the United States had der Fuehrer not been forcefully (i.e. militarily) stopped by the Allies, and [as a double whammy] Americans would have been forced to give up Christianity along with everything Christian then convert to kamakaze-Shinto cultism by the imperialistic-tyrant Tojo of Japan if Jew-and-Jew-assisted scientists had not invented and made it possible to drop truly-awesome nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki [awesome in a genuine and not mindlessly-flippant sense in stark contrast to a lot of present-day teens noxiously babbling "awesomeness" about every incidental thing they think of].

George W. Bush was probably under the not-necessarily-admitted impression that he-meant-business dictator Saddam Hussein in oil-rich Iraq....non-responsive to NATO and U.N. diplomatic intervention, verifiably hosting anti-Israel Al-Qaeda-affiliated suicide-bomber training camps in Iraq and who had most likely launched SCUD missiles into Tel Aviv and Haifa during the First Gulf War....was seriously endangering his close neighbor Israel much worse that any Gaza-Strip mortar rockets from Hamas, Hezbollah, or Fatah...and, if not militarily thwarted, would eventually have not only overpowered limited-resource European countries and Britain, and destablized atheistically-dicey Soviets, but even done damage externally and internally against the United States (given enough time and accumulated ICBM-delivered dirty-neutron-bomb-EMP resources, especially if Saddam had been successful in convincing the Saudis, Libyans, and OPEC-in-general to disrupt foreign-oil exports to the United States).

Which sort of leads us to the next topic.

What is the purpose of euphemisms, or figures of speech?

Do they increase scientific-terminology-defined understanding?

What is the point in concocting and uttering them? Does it make the orator seem cute? Funny? A sloppy or careless thinker?

Is there frequently needless and senseless confusion caused by making up and proclaiming euphemisms verbally and in writing?

WHY say "step on the gas?" Why not instead say: "Accelerate the vehicle?"

I suppose the answer to that one example of the myriad figures of speech blatterable is that the procedure or physical entities involved in accelerating the vehicle (be that a car, truck, etc.) might be better alluded to using euphemistic terms illucidating upon details of functional mechanistic and operational characteristics.

To elaborate, "gas" (or diesel) is of course involved in vehicle acceleration. So why not say: "Step on the diesel?"

Actually, of course, "gas(oline)" is not stepped on with the feet, but instead an accelerator pedal is stepped on, which - by cable connection - alters a carburetor or equivalent regulating increased gas flow to the engine pistons being fired into motion in concert with spark plugs, getting electrical "juice" from a battery, charged by an alternator (or generator), passing through a voltage regulator, then distributed through spark-plug cables.

....all of which is quite an elaborate procedure, but comically described by the operationally ignorant and impatient with the quasi-moronically-simplistic, near-childish euphemism, of: "stepping on the gas."

When euphemisms, allegories, symbolism, metaphors, and figures of speech REALLY get irritating and noxious...is when they are used in Scripture, the Holy Bible....and the reason for that is that it assuredly makes it downright difficult and, if not laughably, at least pathetically, hard to distinguish descriptions of literal reality from wordings to be understood as being merely "spiritual" concerning intent.

Consider the following arguably-disgusting, confusing, hard-to-distinguish-from-reality-and-thus-despicable figure-of-speech expressions in Holy Writ:

Colossians 2:11 In Him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of flesh in the circumcision of Christ;
Colossians 2:12 and you were buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead.
Colossians 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

Now, here's the deplorable problem:

I - personally - have been penis-snipped when a newborn babe, but by hand, so to speak. But, I never yet died. My body has lived, and continues to live. It has never lain lifeless in a mortuary, never been embalmed, never been a lifeless completely-silent-and-motionless corpse in a casket reposing in any funeral home or chapel. It has never been encased and sealed in a cement vault, and never lowered into any grave in any cemetery or graveyard. There is no tombstone marker proving that there is my presumed lifeless dead corpse lying near it.

Now, here is the lamentable problem with the euphemistic figures of speech in the Colossian references cited above:

Since dead-and-buried body euphemisms are associated with me, who is to say (and what proof do they have) that other words within the two verses above are not also euphemistic? To the logically-minded, are not "baptism" and "faith" and "life" and "Christ" and "God" ALSO euphemisms? At what point, and on what grounds, is there any differentiation?

Most of what is contained in Scripture is straightforward, which obviously is to be taken literally. But the inclusion of euphemisms, to a large and lamentable extent, pollute and distort perception of what should indeed be taken at face value, do they not? No wonder religious cults arise claiming to be "based on the Bible!" No wonder heretics have a "hey day" in concocting misinterpretations and misapplications "based on the Bible!"

To give other examples:

Ecclesiastes 11:7 Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun [anyone interested in staring directly at the Sun, and consequently going completely blind?].

John 6:54 ...he who eats My flesh and drinks My blood [Yuck!] has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. [What an insidious requirement for being atoned for, justified, and saved? I guess that the non-blood-slurping penitent dying thief on a cross who called Jesus 'Lord' according to MKJV's Luke 23:42 not RSV's/NIV's Luke 23:42 never made it into Paradise after all?]

John 6:56 He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood [Oh come on now - stop saying that! Ish!] abides in Me, and I in him [WHAT are You trying to do to me, Lord - make me vomit or fast?].

Tie that in with:

Leviticus 7:26 Moreover you shall eat no blood whatever, whether of fowl or of animal, in any of your dwellings.
Leviticus 7:27 Whoever eats any blood, that person shall be cut off from his people."
Leviticus 17:14 For the life of every creature is the blood of it; therefore I have said to the people of Israel, "You shall not eat the blood of any creature, for the life of every creature is its blood; whoever eats it shall be cut off."

'Houston, we have a problem.'

This webauthor has already dealt exhaustively on that cannibalism-inferred(?) utterance of nutcase(?) illegality(?) in previous webpages, so I need not do so again here and now.

The question, again, is: WHY, and what is the POINT of such sometimes-clearly-absurd euphemisms? WHAT do such accomplish? DO they help distinguish between what is a fairy-tale myth or legend from what actually happened or should happen?

I leave the sane and intelligent reader to ponder and contemplate such with thoroughly-pensive common-sense rationality.