How good are you at making hoarse sounds? Let's hear it, all you coffin-nail puffers.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And how good are you at making horse sounds? Neighhhhh a bit for me.
C'mon you trunkless democrats, let's hear you do some HEE-haw HEE-hawing to please us ponchy packyderms.
So who ever thought that The HOLY BIBLE itself would inform us of The Missing Link evilutionists were seeking? "And where," enraged creationists would query, "is THAT?"
And nothing can talk like a horse, of course,
That is, of course, just so the horse
Is the famous Balaam's Ass.
And you thought I was kidding. Shame!
You want proof?
2Pet 2:15 Forsaking the right way they have gone astray; they have followed the way of Balaam, the son of Beor, who loved gain from wrongdoing,
2Pet 2:16 but was rebuked for his own transgression; a dumb ass spoke with human voice and restrained the prophet's madness.
'WHAT in the DUCE are you referring to?', you might retort.
Num 22:21 So Balaam rose in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
Num 22:23 And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road, with a drawn sword in his hand; and the ass turned aside out of the road, and went into the field; and Balaam struck the ass, to turn her into the road.
Num 22:25 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she pushed against the wall, and pressed Balaam's foot against the wall; so he struck her again.
Num 22:27 When the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam; and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he struck the ass with his staff.
Num 22:28 Then the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?"
Num 22:29 And Balaam said to the ass, "Because you have made sport of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you."
Num 22:30 And the ass said to Balaam, "Am I not your ass, upon which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Was I ever accustomed to do so to you?" And he said, "No."
There you have it......right from "the horse's mouth!"
Actually: the asses' mouth. [Kind of fun to say the word ass so much and get away with it. Kinky.].
Thus the missing-link ass actually talked, according to the infallible hysterical [excuse me: historical] Scriptural record. Beats the heck of the talking Geico lizard on TV and other trick-photography animals mouthing human words in special-effects Hollywood movies. And many of us recall the human-voiced vocabularized utterances of ape Caesar, his/it's/whatever's talking mate, plus General Ape in the Heston film series Planet of the Apes.
Don't expect talking apes or verbalizing horses to pop out of the human hole anytime soon, however. A certain Bible verse predicts no ass will ever ooze out of the vagitube at all:
Job 11:12 But a stupid man will get understanding, when a wild ass's colt is born a man.
There we go again with the ass word. Sometimes, you just can't win.
So if asses don't get birthed by humans, did the first ass originate out of spontaneous generation? A living and breathing ass out of inanimate substance?
Gen 2:19 So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
If humans never begot asses, which creature(s) other than asses produced them?
Gen 1:21 So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
Gen 1:25 And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
Gen 6:20 Of the birds according to their kinds, and of the animals according to their kinds, of every creeping thing of the ground according to its kind, two of every sort shall come in to you, to keep them alive.
Gen 7:3 and seven pairs of the birds of the air also, male and female, to keep their kind alive upon the face of all the earth.
Gen 7:14 they and every beast according to its kind, and all the cattle according to their kinds, and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth according to its kind, and every bird according to its kind, every bird of every sort.
Lev 11:14 the kite, the falcon according to its kind,
Lev 11:15 every raven according to its kind,
Lev 11:16 the ostrich, the nighthawk, the sea gull, the hawk according to its kind,
Lev 11:19 the stork, the heron according to its kind, the hoopoe, and the bat.
Lev 11:22 Of them you may eat: the locust according to its kind, the bald locust according to its kind, the cricket according to its kind, and the grasshopper according to its kind.
Lev 11:29 "And these are unclean to you among the swarming things that swarm upon the earth: the weasel, the mouse, the great lizard according to its kind.....
Sorry about not using the word "species." And leaving out mention of sterile mutuations. But I'm sure you get the point. After all, look at all the ape-humans who have crossed the line from furry chimp to uprighting Neanderthal to totally-nude woman in the evilutionary-table lineup.
But isn't donkey flesh genetically almost identical genomically to fish flesh and bird flesh?
1Cor 15:39 For not all flesh is alike, but there is one kind for men, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish.
Missing links have almost happened in reverse:
Dan 4:33 Immediately the word was fulfilled upon Nebuchadnezzar. He was driven from among men, and ate grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers, and his nails were like birds' claws.
Close....but no cigar.
If an ass (a.k.a. Mr. Ed) really talked to Balaam (a.k.a. Wilbur) back in the bowels of infamy, it could happen again? As Batman's Robin might exclaim: "Holy DNA Alteration!"
Without the primordial goo and lightning strike.
As jet planes get automatically assembled by a huge bomb blast within an airport-parts factory, and encyclopedias get booked together from an explosion in a printing press. Random selection, of course. Anything but intricate and orderly intelligent-design creatorship.
No need to worry however. Your car slowly evolved by itself one part at a time without intelligent assembly-line workers in Detroit. First the spark plugs brought themselves into existence and then connected themselves to the muffler, and......well.....you can figure out the rest.
QUESTIONABLE PROPOSED FUTURE PRESENTATION:
Photographic and video differentiation comparing primate and human non-clothed erotically-enticing body parts, intercourse techniques and positioning.