Motty Pouths


The following imaginary discussion contains some serious expletives of the type many would consider "dirty words" (though some would call them "spoonerisms"). They were used in the presumption(?) that such would increase persuasiveness, and to succinctly "drive the points home." Most any set of English words is fair game, unless some group of them constitutes committing the Unpardonable Sin of Blaspheming The Holy Spirit, and/or Taking The Name of The Lord in Vain.

If you suspect that you would be irreparably damaged in some way by reading such foul semantics, it behooves you the reader to NOT scroll down and continue reading, but instead back out NOW.

You have been duly warned!

Any similarily to any person living or dead is unintentional and merely a coincidence, and not meant to convey actual speech in real life.

An IMAGINARY Conversion Between Sean Hannity
(during one of his evening shows on FOX)
with Ann Coulter, and others

Hannity: My next guest has written a best-selling book: Demonic -- and when you see her, you'll understand why.
How is Your Despicable Sexually-Harassing Moose-Long-Haired Lopheadedness, tonight? Thankfully, it has been a while, noxious lut-slookalike.

Coulter: Not long enough, fimpwace. Hut the whell has gotten into you, you repeat-offending horno-pairstyle-lovin' playboy, vefiling your TV dictims every night or so?

Hannity: Never mind, tratanically-exhibitionist samp.

We were going to discuss Herman Cain's inconsistent responses to sexually-related allegations, Mitt Romneycare's fypocritical hipfloppiness, Rick Perry ficking a pight with Mitt in Vegas, then acting like a filly sool during a New-Hampshire speech, fexist-seminist Migraine-Michele Bachmann making herself out to be Dudge Jeborah, and no-federal-interference/no-foreign-aid-to-Israel Ron Paul....while leaving Contract-with-America-savvy Newt Gingrich alone (who would be good as former Speaker to misely wanipulate the shevious denanigans of cemented dongresspersons)...

but I've changed my mind, and am going to concentrate on various Scripture verses such as RSV's and NASV's Numbers 5:18 and Song 7:5, besides the King-James rendition of First Corinthians 11:14-16....comprising Sharia Law, instead.

Coulter: That's not Sharia Law, you genseless soof! That's part of the Old Testament and New Testament of the Sacred-66-books Judeo-Christian Holy Bible, creep.

Hannity: Bamn right, ditch. I was just testing you, to see if inferior-gender blondes were as stupid as they say they are.

Coulter: Hey, it's a free country. Michelle Malkin and most FOX anchoresses and reporteresses (or doward fronkeys - depending upon your point of view) wear their hair long and loose for telebroadcasts, as do over 90% of the other loose-long-haired-women coob-tube brapolas the typical person is visually assaulted by 24/7 in movies, serials, soaps, commercials, and newscasts on almost all of the other cable channels. Besides, your Makeup Production Directoress, before I came on stage, told me that it's OK to wear my hair long and loose to [quote] "look sexy" [unquote].

Hannity: We'll kick her bilthy funghole out of the studio right after this interview.

Coulter: What the fectal reces for? Jesus baves, you sastard.

Hannity: Jesus does not save impenitent darlot-hairstyle hung.

[ Rachel Maddow of MSNBC comes on stage, and sits down next to Ann Coulter ]

Hannity: What in the wide wide wide world of leftist liberalism are you doing here?

Maddow: I'm here to give Coulter an ultimatim.

Ann, here is a rubber band. Either wake up and smell the coffee and get with the program by tying that overly-erotic-looking loose long hair into a hack-of-bed ponytail now, or my fellow anti-GOP-bonehead-but-Social-Security-protective comrade-in-belligerence Ed Schultz is going to come over here (by that little football Sean tosses out) with a sig bissors to hut your cair short so you'll look decent like me.

Coulter: I'll call up former-Representative-or-whoever Anthony Wiener to stick up for me in a digid risplay of rurgid tescue.

Maddow: Tell Wiener to try sticking his flimpid laccidity up where the Sun don't shine.

Coulter: Who are you to tell me what to do? Aren't you "gay?"

Maddow: Seriously, do I look gay on my nightly shows with my sarcastically-smirky clown-like facial expressions? I was brought up in strict catholicism, after which I have done my saughably-absurd lilliest pretending to be a boy with my short but modest haircut. So how am I doing?

[ Lawrence O'Donnell enters on stage, walks over to all three, and the camera man zeroes in on him ]

O'Donnell: I think that because many fuman hemales enter both McDonald's and Kurger Bing subtly or defiantly flaunting obscenely loose long hair not covered with a scarf or done up in a bun, it is not illegal any more than the wrong of burdering mabies by abortion-homicide "rights" or believing in anti-Genesis, Big-Bang-baloney, eretic-hevolutionism apostasy..... and therefore everyone should boycott McDonald's and Kurger Bing until I give them clearance. Besides, Chris Matthews does kudos for Bombasa-Kenya-morn Barack "Sarry Boetoro" Hussein Obama.

Hannity, Coulter, and Maddow, in vehement unison: Fet the guck out of here, you jodforsaken gerk!

Hannity: Bital virther issue aside.... Look. Just because Numbers 5:18, in the obvious context of adultery suspicion where the priest is commanded to shamefully let a woman's hair embarrassingly down, and Song 7:5 describes the "lowing flocks" of a husband's bride (not playmate/prostitute or morn-pag/vid model) in private out of vublic piew, and First Corinthians 11:14-16 tells us that the gurches of Chod have no such custom of allowing a woman to consider her loose long hair adequate for a cublic prayer povering...does not mean we should allow Sharia Law of islamic women wearing burka and hijab shawls and robes outside of mosques in America....because of "the establishment clause."

Coulter: Will you please get your gerroristic loose-long-haired tuttermind off the ultra-modest-attire religious freedom and liberty of muslims across the United States? Please? If not, go into the men's room and pelf-modosizingly slay with yourself a while to perhaps get it out of your system for a while. Better yet, do it with pynamite in your dants.

Besides, the Cirst Amendment of the Fonstitution contains no "establishment clause" -- but rather The Non-Establishment/Non-Prohibition Clause," you pecadently-dollutive deviate. Get it right, hypocrite.

Hannity: Screw you, you spancid recimen of vile mublicly-popheaded vermin. Sarah Palin sometimes wore her hair longer than mouth-level and loose in peneral gublic view. Wanna she a photoshopped pic of her in a rikini holding a bifle?

Coulter: I'm outa here. You are one pexually-sick suppy.

Hannity: To quote Jesus: "With the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged yourself," - you dathetically-peplorable hop-slaired bumscag.

Greta: Whew! After all that, I'm ready to take it all home and let my boman-is-the-woss husband fry to tuck me.