When one looks back at it, it almost seems like a dream.

Surrealistic.

But it purportedly did happen.

Evangelist Judge Judah had been having a week of pro-Israel Judeo-Christian tent meetings just outside of town, speaking about - of course - "the gospel" but also Scripturally detailing a follow-up life of Biblically-specific public modesty of dress and passages pertaining to premarital chastity leading to permanent marriage, specifically promoting the scenario of younger women (such as Ruth) consensually agreeing to be considered married as non-State-licensed common-law concubines with older already-happily-married men (imitating the holy patriarchs and prophets of the Old Testament of The Holy Bible).

As it allegedly happened, a certain young woman by the name of 'Tamar' was in the front row inside each nightly meeting, consistently dressed in burka with a big Christian cross on the front and back of it, but wearing face-exposing hijab head covering, and cowboy boots. She listened eagerly and intently to everything the preacher said, and had watched him, at the end of each nightly meeting, drive on a backroad to a nearby liquor store, go in and come out, then proceed to Motel 6 to lodge for the night.

The final evening of the crusade, Tamar heard Jude dissertate the following:

"Some lutherans are wrong in presuming that we humans cannot choose to accept God as Savior, but merely not not reject Him. Can you imagine what kind of a marriage it would be for a husband to never get an affirmative verbal response from his wife, but simply experience her like a compliant but silent zombie never actively nor aggressively voicing her desire for him?

Joshua 24:15 And if you be non-willing to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you reside; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

Also, such non-pro-choice lutherans are incorrect in presuming that neither God the Father nor Jesus had and has a free will to choose to do either good or evil, to be righteous or instead wicked . . . and consequently His human creatures made in His image do not have a free will to do such.

Wrong, heresy-breaths!

But the Bible verse:

Philippians 2:13 for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

. . . has to be rightly understood, in that God does not force anyone's will to will or want what that person does not will nor want to do sooner or later, and even will or want to do already at the present time. Of course He HAS given each person a free will to will with. And such a verse DOES indicate that persons who do not already completely know what God wants them to want (in terms of full knowledge of His Law) thus are - of course - not wanting to do what they in their ignorance obviously have not yet the will to do what they do not know what to will.

Similarly, the statement:

James 1:17 Every good endowment and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

. . . substantiates that not only free will but the ability and resources to act in congruence with that free will are both gifts from that Father of lights above.

In fact, God in all three Persons very definitely has a free will to screw up with IF He wanted to (yet thankfully never wanted to nor wants to, so far), and the difference between Divine-Creator Jesus tempted under satanic duress in the desert contrasted to Human-Created Eve tempted under satanic duress in the Garden is that Jesus always chose to resist all temptation under duress, but Eve choose to lethally give in to that singular solitary but deadly temptation under duress -- despite her implied reconciliatory forgiveness inferred by her statement:

Genesis 4:1 Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD."

Such free will of both the Creator and created humans will continue to exist in eternity in the hereafter, and even though those humans who inhabit Heaven have permanently decided to always choose righteousness, such weaker-than-Jesus humans will of necessity have to have all wicked duress and temptation from the Devil, his demons, his humans forever and completely removed to continue to choose to always think and do good instead of evil -- which is concordant with what Saint Paul explained:

Romans 7:8 For I know that in me . . . that is, in my flesh . . . resides no good thing. For to will is present with me, but how to perform that which is good I do not find.
19 For I do not do the good that I desire; but the evil which I do not will, that I do.
20 But if I do what I do not desire, it is no more I working it out, but sin dwelling in me.
21 I find then a law: when I will to do the right, evil is present with me.
22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self,
23 but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which resides in my members.
24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Matthew 13:41 The Son of Man will send His angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers,
42 and throw them into The Furnace of Fire; there humans will weep and gnash their teeth.
43 Then the righteous will shine like the Sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.

Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, [ porno and money] idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in The Lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is The Second Death."

Revelation 21:27 But nothing unclean shall enter [ the New Jerusalem above], nor any one who practices abomination or falsehood, but only those who are written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

Revelation 22:15 Outside are the [ homopervert] dogs and sorcerers and [ massage/escort-prostitution ] fornicators and murderers and [ immodest-athletic/warm-weather-styles/fashion ] idolaters, and every one who loves and practices [ born-in-Hawaii-not-Kenya ] falsehood.

We can trust God the Creator to not come up with some new form of tempter or temptation in Heaven, on the grounds of His impeccable perfection in operating nature perfectly on this planet and throughout the Universe from Day One, and the phenomenally accurate and thorough and honest Scriptural record of what has happened in the past -- fully concordant with what we have perceived and yet perceive in nature and His environment we have been benignly consigned within without our prior permission.

"Prior permission?" "Spam abuse?" At that point, Tamar decided to target the preacher for non-retaliatory potential copulation in a sort of sacred Open Season without Naked Fear under Summer's Moon while never once Naked and Afraid.

She promptly departed after the gathering, walked along the backroad which the professor had been traveling on to that liquor store -- clad in her typical and customary burka/hijab outfit. Other women were also walking along the road, thumbing out for someone to pick them up for a snack and screw driver off in some secluded spot.

All were being watch by a couple of cops on a mission from God in dark glasses wearing black dress suits with black ties and white shirts in an undercover Porsche squad car, embedded with maximum-displacement V8 cop engine with Smitty carburetor, full housing, mags, racing stripe, cop brakes, cop transmission, cop tires -- the works.

The Heat watched as the other gals were quickly stopped for by passing motorists to get way laid. Finally Judah drove by Tamar, slowed down for her, and asked her:

"Hey there, cutie, how far are you going?"

She replied, "All the way with you, I hope."

Jude responded: "Get in, and I might get you where no man has gone before."

"Sweet," she exclaimed.

"You got money?" questioned the preacher. "Hungry? Want something to drink? Got a place to stay tonight, and cash to pay for it? What would your boyfriend, husband, or dad say if he knew what you were doing? You hitchhike often, especially at night?" he continued.

"So many questions, so little time. How come you go to that little liquor store after each tent meeting?" she queried.

"I need a little nip now and then," he answered, "being that First Timothy 5:23 ordered me to "take a little wine for the sake of your stomach and frequent ailments."

"Kinky," she concurred. "Yes, I have enough cash on me. Also, I have no boyfriend nor husband, and am an independent 20-year-old adult woman, no longer dependent upon Daddy. You are the first guy, though not gal, I have solicited a heterogay yippie-skippie-carefree hitchhike with in my entire life."

"So, do you want to go to Burger King or Dairy Queen for something?"

"I wonder when the King and Queen are going to get married and have sex. Sorry, just kidding," she remarked. "Let's go to McDonald's - being that Wendy's and Arby's are closed by now," she proposed.

"McDonald's it is," pontificated the preacher.

Meanwhile, those undercover cops in their souped-up non-marked surveillance car were also making a few comments.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Remember to let her under your skin . . ." one one the cops sang in a soft voice.

"Never knew you liked The Beatles that much," his partner noted.

"Observe that the preacher did not pick up any of the other somewhat-indecently-exposed public-nuisance gals hitchhiking along the road and thus irresponsibly, terroristically, and dangerously seducing motorists with non-solicited sexual harassment by their mis-dress -- such as those mopheaded ones, or lurid nitwits immodestly flaunting naked arms with needlessly-senseless sleevesless costumes, or the lower nude parts of their calves of their legs with somewhat-shortened slacks, or lewdly exposing parts of their bare feet with noisy flip-flop sandals without socks on?" the first detective remarked.

"Yeah, he only picked up that amish-and-nun-like islamic-appearing gal wearing the moslem-similar quite-modest burka/hijab combo, and now they're both headed to the liquor store. Does he know whether she has a gun - with or without bullets removed for legal safety regulations - or a knife or taser in her purse? Let's keep an eye on them and follow at a distance to find out where they go," the other policeman said.

After the preacher came out of the liquor store, carrying an inexpensive twist-off bottle of either Riesling or Chardonney wine (I'm not sure), he got into his easy-starting rental car ('Yes, God is NOT dead!') where Tamar was patiently waiting inside for him.

"I only have half the money needed for a room at Motel 6, and I do not want to overcharge on my debit card," Tamar told the preacher. "I only work a part-time job weekdays."

"I can pay for the other half for us to share a single-bed room there," the evangelist replied. "The collection money in the offering plates and the remunerative honorarium for leading the crusade was adequate."

"By the way, I'm 'Tamar' . . . but my friends call me 'Tammy.' You like to be called 'Judah?"

"My friends call me 'Jude.' Good to meet you, Tammy. You game to spend the night in Motel 6 with me in a single-size mattress, do intimately-erotic exchange massage in your assumed pristine-pulchritude birthday-suited splendor, and then both orally and vaginally genitalize passionately with me?" Jude petitioned.

"Sounds like a plan, professor. But we both should first mutually bathe together in the tight motel-room shower stall, being that:"

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,
27 that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.

and:

Hebrews 10:22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

"OK, completely fill out a Bible Quiz there on the dashboard, and then, if I find your answers acceptable and compatible with mine, completely fill out a Date Selection Exam underneath that, after which we should both sign copies of the Common-Law-Concubine Marriage-Declaration Certificate underneath all three.

"My answers to those documents are already filled out and lying under yours. Take a few moments and look over my answers to discover if I am really your type of guy."

"Will do."

After reading Jude's answers, she concludes, "Yes, you ARE my type of guy indeed! I'll fill out my answers on the forms right away so you can evaluate me before we further consider coitally conjugating tonight -- traditionally also identified with such slang semantics as 'doing whoopie, scoring, shaft-rodding, f-wording each other,' and many other sometimes-silly-sounding, sometimes-descriptive-and-imaginative terms and phrases."

Tammy fills out hers, and hands them to Jude. After Jude peruses her answers, he replies: "Let's sign those Common-Law Concubine Marriage Declaration Forms right NOW, sweetie, get the room, shower up together, and get it on !!!"